Bill & Sue – Nurse or Patient?

Just pottering about in the garden and Sue had on a white top but wearing it as a dress, as usual. It has a low open back and an inverted v shape at the bottom. Just setting the scene….. I had already formed my line of attack. “You look lovely” I said. ” Glad you like it, you know me and wearing tops as dresses” she smiled wickedly. (starting to sound like that badly written 50 shades of whatever so change the tact before Karen or her friends bombard me with the usual predictable nonsense).

First hook line delivered and now to pull in the line a little bit. ” You remind me of that woman in the hospital scene of that medical program we watched last week”. “Mmm you think I look like a sexy nurse?” “No……. you remind me of one of the patients walking down the corridor wearing one of those open gowns with yer arse hanging out”. I know, you are thinking, what happened next? Thankfully the flower pot missed but I got a right good drenching from the garden hose. Still, one nil to me….

A few related jokes….

How is a hospital gown like insurance?

You’re never covered as much as you think you are.

As soon as they put me in that hospital gown…

I knew my end was in sight.

A man goes into the hospital for surgery.

The receptionist leads him to his room, gives him his hospital gown, and shows him how to put it on. She says to him, “Take off all your clothes, put on your gown, and the doctor will be in shortly.”

“Ok,” the man says. The receptionist leaves, and he proceeds to get undressed. The man is taking off his shoes when an orderly comes in to his room.

“Can you tell me something?” the man asks the orderly. “Why does this hospital gown open up in the back?”

The orderly smiles and says, “Ask the doctor when he comes in.”. The orderly leaves, and the man proceeds to take off the rest of his clothes. A nurse comes into his room. And the man asks her, “Hey, how come my hospital gown opens up in the back?”

The nurse smiles and says, “You’ll have to ask the doctor when he comes in.”

The man is rather perplexed and a little irritated. He is in his gown and has been waiting for over an hour for the doctor. Finally, the doctor comes in and begins to examine the man. The doctor finishes his exam and is taking off his gloves when the man asks him, “Question for you, doc, since no one else will give me a straight answer: how come my hospital gown opens up in the back?”

The doctor smiles, leans in close to the man, and says to him, “Because mine opens in the front.”

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