Boris Johnson has issued a press release confirming he has not made a U-turn since breakfast and is hoping to make it to lunchtime. Earlier today when asked by his wife if he wanted a full English breakfast or bacon, egg, pancakes and Maple syrup he changed his mind 14 times. Realising he had to make a decision he went to the bathroom to talk to himself in the mirror. The decision was easy he grinned to himself, fool English.
On returning to the breakfast table his wife asked him if he had made a decision. “Of course dear, Corn Flakes and semi skimmed milk please.” You have to realise it is a long walk from the bathroom to the dinning room. He later confirmed to his wife that it was always his intention to have Corn Flakes from the very start. However once she made him watch the video on her phone confirming his morning antics…..he issued a full heartfelt apology and confirmed he would learn from it and never do such a thing again. Later at lunch…..